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GoodwenGirl143
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Name: Marta
Birthday: 9/26/1989
Gender: Female
Interests: gymnastics, cheering, tumbling, softball, soccer, volleyball, Jesus Christ, bandhall, singing,going to Ohio, baseball, photography, reading and writing music, poetry, going to concerts, working, climbing trees, hanging out with good kids
Expertise: making any sundae...;-)
Message: message me
AIM:  atram89
Yahoo:  goodwengirl143
Member Since:
6/1/2004
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| So i screwed it up. and its my temper. thats it.
and i know what love is. i thought iw ish i knew and i fucked it up. I FUCKED IT UP
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| As for keeping this thing, I fail just as badly as the last time. I wish I could simply say, I found real love. I am simply in love. That's what I feel, that's not it though. I dated Tyler McKay before, and the first time something wasn't right, and I felt that. We broke up and I made myself believe that I could get over that relationship and completly start something new, something better. Tyler went and joined the Marine Corps, and I didn't see him for months, and he comes back, and steals my heart, more than the first time. All those good times came back. Sitting together watching movies, him sitting with me for hours while I'm at my worst, me cuddling with him on his bed in his dorm, watching war movies, and making out in the copy room at church. I get the stereotypical feelings, the goosebumps, the blushing, the non stop talking and smiling. I feel that rush of pure delight in the fact I AM IN LOVE. I couldn't seem to understand why I couldn't say why I loved him or him to me. I wanted proof, I wanted fact, I wanted what we're taught in school, it must have a good source. And love, love there is no such thing, if there were, we'd all be the same. Love is something that I can't ever seem to describe about a person, I can describe I love, but I can't describe why. "I do not know what it is about you"... E.E. Cummings wrote on this. I truely believe that he is right. That even though we know we love that person, we can't seem to figure out why. The only thing we know is that it's inside us, it's deep and it's pure and it's true. But it doesn't matter how many times you say it or how you say it, it's there. It's there. Love is something I was never an expert at, but now that I've gotten to be a part of something so deep, I have the ability to love and to be loved back. The words I love you, mean so much more when you have that foundation. Tyler's miles away from me, and I all I get is a phonecall. But the words "I love you", fix everything, fix those miles, and fix the fact I have a firearm named after me. I love Tyler. I know he loves me. And Love is something I know can grasp. This love is so amazing, and I will nobody let this destroy. | | |
| It's been forever a long time.. and so I'm going to write.
As I was sitting here thinking about budget cuts
that our school has taken to consideration.. i remember something that
changed my life forever. New Orleans. They have nothing, it's like the
Great Depression all over again down there. Tearing apart houses,
serving and making food, and giving clothes to those who have the great
pride and hope to keep going on and rebuilding. I wish I could spend my
life there... to be there till it's all fixed up nice again. I sit
here, still not doing a ton of physical work, complaining about
Culvers.. or cheerleading workouts.. Did I forget about the 10 pounds I
lost just from a week down there? Did I forget the pain I felt climbing
out of my bed in the morning to go do work again? What is it like...
doing that for a year.. knowing what you're working for may all get
destroyed all over again?
I know that I'm called a goody goody Christian, but
down there, my Faith was strengthed beyond what could happen in a
church service or just in my hometown. Monroe is blocked off from the
rest of this world... we let everything go on, and try to forget that
it's happening.
I love New Orleans, and I wouldn't ever give a
second thought to drive those 13 hours there to do it all again, but
stay permantly that time.. just to get it all done.
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| I am listening to Dashboard Confessional, I'm talking to my boyfriend
and it's 3 AM on a Thursday morning.. I work tonight... 5-c but I don't
care... I got registered for school, got a bad locker.. but it doesnt
matter... i had a crappy school pic and i am still smiling... hugs and
kisses... im falling in love.. and i know it.
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| i guess i should real update this thing. Um. okay to start off. I
finally found that one guy... that makes me extremely happy.  yup
its' a good time. we met at a youth convention 2 summers ago but we
didn't actually get to know eachother till this summer.. and yeah i
guess 2 30 hour bus rides and a week of eachother grew us close enough
to decide to date. he lives in Madison and he's absolutly crazy.. he
likes blowing stuff up, breaking stuff, and playing bass and
skateboarding.. he wonders why I won't let him drive my new car. duh.
works still the same, ive learned everything in kitchen,,, so now they
put whereever they want me to be. my hair is almost back to it's
original color, but the blonde is still showing, oh well. im now the vp
of Venture crew.. vice president that is... awesome. I got pulled over
for the first time... he thought my car was stolen and I was going 5
over.. wow... um i think he was bored.. very bored. my fams all good.
Nick got his yellowhelmet or hat or something so now he's a big man on
the firefighter ladder.. heh. ladder.. get it?! ron came for teh
weekend.. he's the shiz. i love that kid.. hes friends with Eric.. the
boyfriend.. so it works out well... um... school starts on the 5th and
registration is tomorrow for my sister and i.. i got to get her the
short cuts and all that jazz.... love you.<3
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